Are you, like, a good communicator?

I gave my first Toastmasters speech last night and, although I am at ease speaking in front of a crowd, something very strange happened on the way to the podium. I found myself practicing nervous habits I never knew I would have.

This happens to me in my golf game. I practice swinging at the ball a dozen times, and it's perfect every time. Put the ball in front of me, and something goes terribly wrong.

I was not at all nervous in the hours, minutes, or even seconds leading up to my speech. But once I reached the lectern and began speaking, I forgot my words, I began to clutch the podium, started shifting my weight, found myself stammering and starting over, even (gasp) pawing at the ground with my foot much like an agitated horse! Who was this horrifically uncomfortable, blabbering orator who had taken over my body and my mouth?

Somehow I managed to get through my speech and was ready to hear my critique. Prior to my presentation, I had asked my evaluator to be very forthcoming - even brutal - in his evaluation as I wanted to know my mistakes and learn from them. Although he did have a few areas of improvement for me, he and the other audience members said I looked very poised, completely at ease, had a good, strong speaking voice and thought the speech was swell.

Huh?? This is all very nice to hear, and perhaps my nervousness was not as obvious to my audience as it was to me, but I learned a lot about myself in that brief six minutes. The lesson for me was that communication is far more than the words we say. It's in our posture, the confidence in our voice, our eye contact, and the way we dress. Sometimes how we say something can override what we say, which could work for us or against us.

This is not new information. I've known these things most of my adult life. But as prepared as I was for this moment, one never knows one's response in a scary situation until one is in the midst of it. I think I know what I would do if an intruder broke into my house in the middle of the night, but until I'm faced with that situation, I guess I really don't know how I will react. The same goes for public speaking.

Next time, like my golf game, I'll try to remember all those little tricks that will help me hit the "sweet spot." Keep my eyes off my notes, my weight off the lectern, my feet planted firmly on the floor, and just enjoy the game. Perhaps there will be a day when my speech won't "shank" and it will be worth all the practice I've put in.

Until, like, next time,

-Kate